Back to the Thirsty Ages
by anney101
Summary: When Bella first holds Renesmee, she touches her cheek and releases her vampire "gift". What if her gift wasn't to show you her memories, but something completely different, like take you to your memories, back in time. Bella is the unlucky victim to discover this, as she is sent back to the day she moved to Forks, Washington. Rated k because I don't know what later chapters bring
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer-Twilight and all of its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer and not me.**

"Edward, I am ready." I said convincingly. I honestly believed I was.

"You are still a newborn Bella. I don't want to rush into this." Why didn't he understand that I was perfectly capable of restraining myself?

"Edward, you know that thing I did just now with those hikers? That was called not eating them! I think that if I can keep myself from eating two full grown adults who I don't know and will never see again, then I can resist the temptation of my own baby." I explained angrily. We were still in the woods, having just finished hunting.

Edward sighed, and I could tell he was giving in. "Alright, Bella. You're right. You can do this. I know you can."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile, and I felt the natural urge to kiss him. But, unlike the old days, I didn't have to hold back.

I zoomed into his arms, and pulled his face into mine. His sweet breath was better than ever, and his eyes were warm, like butterscotch. I pressed his lips against mine with vampire force. He picked me up, cradling me as I kissed him in ways I would never have been able to as human. Edward had trouble kissing me, with the hunger for my blood. But now that I was a vampire, neither of us would ever have to hold back again.

I didn't want this moment to end, but at the same time, I had to see my baby.

"Renesmee." I whispered so quietly, only a vampire could possibly hear.

The next thing I knew, Edward was running, with me still in his arms. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment. I would remember this. My first day as a vampire, running through the woods in the arms of someone I truly loved.

I held Edwards hand, and brought myself down from his arms while he ran. I was running with him, hand in hand. I found myself laughing in utter enjoyment. The greenery past through me in a blur, and before I knew it, we were at the stream near the house.

"You ready?" Edward asked as we neared the stream.

"For what?" As I asked the question I was thrown on to Edward's back. He jumped over the river before us un one swift leap. I spread my arms apart while in the air to mimic flying. I was a bird on Edward's back.

We landed gracefully on the other side without dropping speed. Before I knew it, I was on the ground once more, running alongside Edward. I couldn't help but laugh. It was so great to finally be a vampire. Edward could finally be his full self around me.

Within seconds of being at the stream, we were in front of the Cullen house, and for a moment, Edward was not the one thing on my mind.

"Come on." I said eagerly dragging Edward behind me. I had to see her. I had to see my baby.

When I entered the household, all of the Cullen's were surrounding Rosalie, who held the most gorgeous creation I had ever seen.

"Renesmee." I murmered in awe. I was not aware of the burning sensation in the back of my throat. All I could focus on was the baby.

I automatically moved forward, drawn toward my daughter.

"Bella." Rosalie warned. She clearly did not want to move any closer.

"I am okay." I said absentmindedly. I moved closer yet. I was in a complete daze. This was my baby. Edward and I were parents. "Trust me."

I held out my arms to show I intended to hold the baby.

"Bella, you can't" Rosalie said. "You are not strong enough."

"I am. Ask Edward." I said, still holding out my arms.

"Bella, Renesmee has blood, pumping through her veins. You have been a vampire for no more than a few hours. You cannot possibly resist." Rosalie said.

"If I believed I was putting my daughter in any sort of danger, I would refrain. But honestly, human blood isn't as hard to resist as I expected it to be. I am strong enough." I outstretched my arms further, waiting for Rosalie to set the baby in my arms. "Do I look like I am overcome by the blood Rosalie?"

It was a rhetorical question. Obviously, I was in full control of my body, and the chances of me being overthrown by the blood was slim. It was for this reason, that Rosalie finally decided to hand the baby over."

She burned my skin as I held her human temperature body. I did not mind though. She was mine, and I knew I would never lose control.

"I love you." I whispered in her ear, and then I smiled up at Edward.

"You are doing great, Bella." He smiled as he said it, and walked over next to me.

As I looked down at Renesmee, I found it impossible that she had come from me. She was so beautiful. "She's ours Edward." I said soothingly. I knew if I was human, I would be crying right now.

"All ours." Edward agreed.

Renesmee leaned against my chest and started waving her hand towards my face.

"That is so cute." Alice complimented in the backround. Others nodded in agreement.

"Oh no." Edward said as Renesmee's hand touched my cheek, though I couldn't understand why. "Renesmee, no!" He shouted this time.

"Edward what's wro…" I couldn't complete my sentence. The scene around me shifted. I felt as the world around me disappeared. There was no floor beneath me, but I was not falling. I looked around to see nothing but whiteness. My body was changing rapidly as well. The burning in my throat disappeared, and I felt the amazing strength fade as well. What the? I felt…well…human.

And then, the whiteness turned into my old room with Charlie, in Forks. I saw my old computer, my phone, my bed, my rocking chair, and I half unpacked suitcase in the corner. I was standing on the floor in the middle of the room. I looked outside. It was raining of course.

I knew in that moment, that I was human. I didn't have the vampire intelligence, strength, and I could tell without looking in the mirror that my beauty was gone too. It didn't make any sense to me. How did I get here, in my old bedroom, and human.

Where were Renesmee, and Edward? Where was my perfect life as a vampire?

I was frozen. I could not comprehend what had just now happened. All I could hear was the sound of my deep breathing, and the pitter patter of rain.

I don't know how long I stood motionless in my room, but some time later, I heard Charlie's voice from downstairs.

"Bella!" He called. "Dinner's ready!" Did he know I was here? How could that be possible. Did he know something about what happened.

I willed my legs to move, and I managed to open my door and make my way downstairs to see Charlie in front of the T.V and a box of pizza on the counter.

"Hey, Bella." He said, without turning around.

I gulped. "Hey…dad." I said, my voice shaking.

He turned around on the couch, furing his brow. "Are you okay?" I noticed his hair was longer than it had been in at least a year. He cut it, and decided he liked it short, and never grown it out since. I wondered what made him decide to grow it out once more.

"What is going on?" I muttered to myself.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"Nothing, dad. Uh…where is Edward?" I asked. I didn't know what had happened, but I was hoping Charlie had more answers than I. He didn't seem confused in the slightest.

"Who?" He replied confused. Who? Who? Was he insane? My husband that is who!

"You don't know who Edward is?" I asked shocked. What was going on. How could I be human, at Charlie's place?

"Who is Edward?" He asked. He appeared truly confused.

"Never mind, dad. It's nothing. Forget I said anything." I said.

"You sure?" Charlie asked concerned.

I nodded as convincingly as I could, and sat down on a stool at the counter. It was like old times. Eating pizza with my dad, as he watched T.V. I looked at the clock in the kitchen. 6:45.

I decided to put aside all my confusion for the moment, and I ate a slice of pizza. A few bites in, Charlie started talking.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" It reminded me of Edward. He was asking me that question constantly. They were not as common words in Charlie's mouth.

"Why do you ask?" I asked, trying to appear as unconfused as humanly possible.

"I just want to make sure you are adjusting well." Adjusting well? Was it possible that Charlie _did_ know something about what had just happened.

"Adjusting well to what?" I asked, wanting him to specify before I jumped to the conclusion that he knew it all.

"You know, new town. Forks is a lot different than Pheonix. The weather, the size, and I just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything you needed for your first day of school tomorrow."

The words raced through my mind. He was acting as though my move here was recent. That was impossible though. I moved to Forks years ago. My first day of school tomorrow? I graduated!

And then it all began to set on me. The last time I saw Edward, was when Renesmee touched my cheek. And Edward had said, "Renesmee, no!". After that was when everything changed. It was Renesmee. She was half vampire, which meant she could have had a talent, right? Edward knew from reading her mind but...it was too late. Renesmee had already touched my cheek. She had a talent that was unique. I would not have ever believed it was possible, but here I was.

Renesmee had sent me back in time, back to the day I moved to Forks. Where I was right now, there was no Edward, or any of the Cullen's for that matter, in my life. I was hadn't met any of them yet. For some reason, I had been sent back to the beginning, and to my knowledge, there was nothing I could do about it.

I realized Charlie was looking at me. Had he said something? Oh ya, did I need anything for school. "No, dad. I am good." I said. I was no longer hungry, my appetite gone from what I now understood. I tossed my remaining pizza, and went up to my room. It was still early, not even seven yet.

I took a long shower, trying to kill time, and spent as much time combing my hair as humanly possible. I finished unpacking my stuff, and then cleaned up all the dust and dirt in my room left from years being unused. By the time I finished with everything it was finally late enough to go to sleep.

I knew I would never get to sleep feeling like I did so I went out to a drugstore to buy some stong sleeping pills. I had never used sleeping pills before, but I had never been in such a desperate situation.

I walked in to the store. I had been in it several times before and had no trouble finding the sleeping pills. I was in the check out line with the strongest brand available, when I saw him. Carlisle Cullen walked into the store.

He looked the same as ever. To me, I had seen him a few hours ago, as my father-in-law. Now, he had never even seen me in my life.

"Hello." I couldn't resist saying as he walked by.

He smiled politely. I am sure he assumed my gawking was due to his overwhelming beauty. Beauty that I had obtained not long ago, but so far from now. "Hello." He replied.

"I like your coat." I complimented. I did like the coat, but I knew Carlisle absolutely adored it. It was a gift from Esme. It was made with some sort of special leather not easily obtained even for vampires.

Carlisle beamed, "Do you? Thank you…uh,"

"Bella." I informed him.

"Carlisle." He said, hand outstretched for me to shake. Wasn't he worried I would notice how cold his hands were? I noticed he was wearing gloves. I shook his hand. I had just met Carlisle the first time, for the second time in my life.

"Well, it is nice to meet you Carlisle. Have a nice night." I said.

"You too." Carlisle said, flashing a smile. It was almost as dazzling as Edward's.

I bought my pills, and left the store. I got home, took two pills immediately, and was then able to sleep that night.

I was not excited when I woke up the next morning. It was time to meet Edward for the first time again. It was time to torture Edward with the new scent of the sweetest blood in the world. I was going to have to start over from the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

There was one upside to being sent back in time. I had my old truck back. I loved the old truck. It was rusty, bulky, load, and couldn't go over 60 miles per hour. It was the perfect car for me. I felt a bit of warmth rush through me as the memory of the truck turned to reality. It roared to life as I turned the key, making the pouring rain outside barely audible. I pulled out of the drive way, and took the familiar route to school.

I almost forgot to go to the office before school. I had my schedule memorized, of course, but I was the only one who knew that. I had to appear new and confused to everyone here. I also needed to get a slip from the office for each teacher to sign.

"Hello," I said as I entered the warmth of the office. The walls were filled with the same posters and quotes that I always remembered. The office was not as small as it had seemed my real first day in Forks, probably because I was now used to it. "I am Isabella Swan, The new student."

"Oh, of course." Mrs. Cope said, as she took me through the same process I remembered from before. She gave me a map, and a schedule, and highlighted all of the smartest routes to take. I thanked her, before walking back out into the rain, and across the parking lot towards my first building.

I tried to ignore all the eyes of people watching me. I remembered this part. I was The new girl, and an outsider. But I was also interesting, so, naturally, everyone wanted to be my friend. It was not one of my more pleasant memories, and not something I was excited to re-live.

I quickly made my way to English, with Mr. Mason.

"Hello," I said, forcing a smile. "I am Isabella Swan." I said. I felt weird, needing to introduce myself. He was my teacher, and we had known each other for years. "But I go by Bella." I added quickly, not wanting him to get in the habit of calling me Isabella. I handed him my slip to sign for then office, and then took the seat he asked me to, next to Eric.

I could tell Eric was contemplating saying hello before the bell rang. It was funny to see how much smaller he was. Last time I saw him he was a full on man. He looked much younger. I liked Eric, and I knew he would become my friend, so I broke the ice.

"Hey." I said. He was overjoyed that I had chosen to talk to him. I hoped he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

"Hey. You're Isabella Swan, right?" He knew the answer.

"Call me Bella." I said.

"Bella." He repeated.

"Ya." I said, smiling. I hated having to do this all again, but at least I was doing it right this time. Last time I was and anti-social idiot, and I had pretty much made a fool of myself all day.

"I am Eric." He said, holding out his hand for me to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Eric," I said, taking the shake. I didn't need to look around to know that at least half the class was observing this intercourse with jealousy. But I didn't mind. At least I knew who my friends were, and I wouldn't have to waste time talking to people I knew to be jerks. I released Eric's hand as the bell rang.

I leaned back in my seat, and waited for Mr. Mason to start talking. He motioned me up toward the front of the room. Crap, I had totally forgotten that this was one of the classes that I had to be introduced in.

"Class, this is Isabella Swan. She is a new student, and is coming here from Pheonix, Arizona. I want everyone to do there part in making Bella feel at home here in Forks" Mr. Mason said to the class. All the eyes bore down on me. They were all so familiar, and I felt much more comfortable than I had last time.

"Is there anything you'd like to add?" Mr. Mason asked turning to me.

Usually that would be a definite no, as I always hated speaking to any size group. bBut there was one thing I wanted to make clear. "I go by Isabella." I said, and then took my seat once more.

The next three periods went pretty much the same, and I was glad to meet Jessica, who would turn out to be one of my best girlfriends. It was actually going pretty well, as long as I kept my mind off of Edward, Renesmee, and my whole other life, which practically brought me down in tears.

I walked with Jessica to lunch, who introduced me to Angela. The day was going well, but I knew lunch would be a different story.

I walked into the cafeteria, and sat at the same table I would sit at for the next year and a half. The Cullen's were not yet at their table.

"So how long have you lived here, Jessica?" I asked, trying to distract my brain. I had my lunch on my tray, and was trying to focus on eating, and friends, and not looking at the Cullen table.

"All my life. My mom and dad moved here before I was born, basically because they despise sunlight."

"Interesting." I said, but I was only half listening, as I saw the Cullen's enter the cafeteria. I saw Edward. Edward. I couldn't stop staring. I probably looked like a complete idiot, gawking at them, but my husband was sitting at the table over there. I wanted to kiss him, but knew that if I even went near him, he might eat me. He hadn't gotten used to the amount of thirst he had when he was around me. Still, I couldn't help but stare.

"Gorgeous, aren't they?" Jessica said, following my line of sight. I forced myself to look back to her.

"Ya. Especially the one with the reddish brown hair." Edward had told me he was listening to Jessica to try to find out what was going on through me head on the first day of school. I didn't know if he was listening yet, but I was going to flatter him, just in case.

"That's Edward. I wouldn't waste you're time though, he doesn't date."

"I think I would have to know him a bit before I considered dating him." I chuckled. "But seriously…who are they?" Of course, I knew better than anyone who they were, but I was actually a bit excited to hear Jessica's opinion on them.

"They are just this family. Those are all adopted kids who live with this guy Carlisle and Esme Cullen. They were all adopted when the were younger." Jessica explained. "It is weird though. They are family, maybe not blood related, but they are still family, and they date eachother!" Jessica exclaimed.

"Really?" I said, pretending to be shocked.

"Ya. See blonde and bulky," She said, pointing to Rosalie and Emmett, "They have a thing, along with pixie and freaky." She said. I couldn't help but laugh at the surprisingly accurate nicknames.

Then, I noticed Edward was staring directly at me, as Jessica went back to eating her food. She noticed our eye contact, and stared at me questioningly.

"Why is he staring at you?"

"I don't know." I said, " Probably trying to read my mind," I said jokingly. Jessica laughed, but not for the same reason I was. She didn't know of the hidden truth in my words.

"Don't they eat?" I asked, eyeing their untouched food.

"I have never seen them eat in my entire life." Jessica replied.

Then the bell rang and I knew it was time for the dreaded biology class.

"Hello, Mr. Banner, I am _Bella_ Swan." I put emphasis on the Bella, as to correct the common mistake before it was made. I handed him the slip, which he signed, and then pointed me to the only open seat in the room. Also the worst possible seat for me to sit in.

I felt like a snail as I walked towards Edward. This was the hardest hour of his life. The first time he would ever smell my blood. Right on que, as I entered the vicinity of Edward, his eyes darkened, his grip in the desk got tight and he tilted his body away.

It was so painful. I watched as he held his breath, and knew that every move I made, made it harder for Edward. For this reason I stayed absolutely still. It felt absolutely still to me, but maybe not. The real first day, I had thought Edward hated me, but now, I understood, he was going through so much pain. I had felt the pain before, but my blood made the pain so much worse, and I admired Edward for his pure strength.

The period dragged on, and it felt like ages. I looked at the clock every five minutes, wishing class would end. I had considered ditching class, but I knew Edward had to get over the initial shock if I wanted our relationship to progress. And I definitely wanted the relationship to progress. Edward was having trouble resisting my blood, but I was having trouble resisting him. My husband was sitting in the seat just inches from me, and I had to resist any of the slightest hints of affection.

At long last, the bell rang. I couldn't stand to see Edward in the kind of pain he was in. He so desperately wanted to eat me. I watched as Edward walked out of class, quickly and swiftly, going a little past normal human speed. I sighed. There had to be a way to reverse this. Doing this over again would be too painful for me. I had to get back to my perfect happily ever after!

I packed up my bags and left the class. Mike was waiting by the door for me. Oh yes, I would also have to deal with all the boys who were drooling over me.

"What do you have next?" Mike asked.

"Gym." I replied.

"Me too!" He replied excitedly. "I'll walk you over."

I shrugged. "Okay, thanks." I made sure not to let any gestures that Mike could take as, well, me vibing him.

"Man, Cullen seemed upset today. Wonder what his deal is." Mike said, clearly trying to show Cullen was no good.

"I wouldn't know. Being new here, that is all I have ever seen of Edward. What is he normally like?" I was curious for Mike's opinion.

"No one _really _knows. They keep to themselves. From what I have seen though, they are all the same. They are kind of a club, and no one can get in. At first most people were jealous, but after awhile, people realized that the Cullen's were not…" Mike was at a loss for the correct word. "They are not the kind of people you try to be friends with, because there is no point. We leave them alone, because they clearly want no business with us. They're not really a part of the school."

"Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this, Mike." I teased.

"What do you expect. They were the most interesting thing Forks has seen in, well, ever. Anyone who says they haven't thought about them is lying."

I was pondering on that as we entered the gym. I made my way to the girls locker room and got changed. I was not excited for this class either. I had the worlds worst hand-eye coordination.

The class went as I expected. We played volleyball. I didn't hit the ball once, but the ball did hit me. I haad multiple bruises by the time class ended, and I couldn't help but miss my amazing vampire coordination.

I left class, thankful that my second first day at school was over, and rushed over to the office to turn in my slip. I didn't forget, as I walked over, that Edward was in there right now, trying to change his schedule to get me out of that class with him. I had to interrupt him, or else he might succeed, making it harder for him to get over the desire.

I looked at Edward through the glass door, so beautiful, and pushed the door open. Just as expected, he stiffened, said a few words to Mrs. Cope, and left quickly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the last scent of Edward I would get for six days, as he would run away up to Alaska.

"Here". I said, handing Mrs. Cope the slip. She seemed slightly dazed from her recent encounter with Edward. I laughed lightly, possibly confusing her, and rushed out of the office to get home.

I buckled myself into the sturdy old truck, and turned the key, allowing the thing to roar to life. I drove home too quickly, but didn't even notice. I was in the worst mood. I hadn't had a chance to really evaluate the situation until now, and I realized that it really sucked.

I ran up to my room, and flopped onto my bed, sobbing. Why had this happened to me. Not long ago, Edward had been strong enough to make a baby with me. A baby! And now, that baby that we made, sends me back to before he had even met me. And now, Edward couldn't even be in the same room with me. I had begged and begged for him to turn me into a vampire, so we could both be happy. Finally, he suffices, and we are happy. Then, as usual, I get the worst luck possible, and I am turned back human and forced to live in this crappy time, the time when Edward and I haven't even discovered our love. I had no one to turn to either. I was alone in this world, in the sense that I was the only one who knew what was to come. I had no idea what to do. Was I supposed to try and repeat my previous life, or skip all the parts that ended badly?

I thought about everything, and was sitting in bed for hours. At one point, I came out to eat dinner. Charlie had brought home pizza again. I had forgotten that before I moved here, Charlie practically lived on pizza, and only when I moved in did we start eating proper meals.

"Bella!" Charlie exclaimed when I walked downstairs. He sounded alarmed.

"What?" I asked, my voice wavering. I realized I probably looked terrible, as I hadn't even attempted to stop crying, and I hadn't brushed my hair after sitting in bed, which explained his concern.

"What's wrong?" He asked, confirming my suspicion.

I had absolutely nothing to say. I was the worst liar, but I didn't even have a lie to be unconvincing about.

"Nothing." I said, wiping my tears out.

Charlie's eyes were wide. He didn't take his eyes off me as he set his pizza down and walked towards me.

"Why are you lying?" He asked. Because if I told you the answer you'd think I was insane, and never believe that I am crying because I got sent back in time before I was a vampire with my husband and we had our half vampire daughter.

"Seriously, dad. It was selfish of me not to get myself together before I came down." I said, hoping he would leave it after that.

He sighed. "Bella, I am your dad…"

"Exactly. And you are a lot like me dad. Just like me, you don't like to talk about…emotions and stuff." Charlie didn't seem satisfied. "I promise, dad, If there is something you can help me with, I will let you know…okay?" I said, hoping he would leave the conversation there.

He nodded. It was a reluctant nod, but a nod none of the less. I forces myself a smile, and ate a slice two slices of pizza, before I trudged back up to my room and slumped on my bed.

I was miserable once more. It was seconds after I got into my room before I let the floodgates open, releasing more tears. I didn't fight them. This was my alone time, in my room. No one would bug me in here, and I didn't had to hold back to put my dad at ease. The pouring rain outside was fitting for my current emotional state. I cried for the hours to come.

And then, it hit me. I made a decision. It may have been my worst ever idea, but maybe not. I knew though, that after the idea was planted in my mind I could not resist. It was 11:00 at night at this point, but I didn't care.

I ran into my bathroom and took a quick, 5 minute shower. I dried my hair to the best of my ability with a towel, not wanting to bug Charlie with my blow drier. I put on some jeans and a T-shirt, grabbed they keys to my truck, and was off.

The engine roared to life when I turned the key, but I doubted Charlie could hear it over the pouring rain. I drove off, and quickly drove the familiar route to the Cullen's house.


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't drive as fast as I wanted to. The rain was pouring hard, and it was dark outside. Even with my windshield wipers and lights on, I could barely see a thing. I was determined to go to the Cullen's though.

I hadn't realized it before, but maybe they could actually help me. I could explain to Carlisle what happened, and he would surely know how to handle the situation, right? Carlisle was smart, and I knew him well. He would be supportive, and do whatever possible to figure this whole thing out, whatever this whole thing was. And now was as good of a time as any, because Edward was out of town, so he wouldn't know. Him knowing could ruin everything, like the glorious progression of our relationship. As long as I told the Cullen's now, they would have six days to practice not thinking about it.

Through the pouring rain, I almost missed the turn of to the Cullen house. I drove do the dirt road, the only sounds being the pounding rain, the crunching of rocks under the tires, and the blowing of my heater in the car. The trees passed by quickly, as I sped cautiously down the road.

The moment the Cullen house came into view, my brain went into overdrive. All the memories of Edward flew through my head at once, as I saw the house where all of the erased memories had happened. I would have drove straight off the road in my frenzy, had I not instinctively slammed on the breaks.

I sat in my car, a hundred yards from the house, my breath heaving. I knew they could hear every sound I was making, and were probably listening intently, wondering what the heck I was doing out here in front of their house. Either Alice had predicted my coming the moment I made the decision to, or they heard me turn on to the dirt road leading to their house. Either way, they knew now, and sitting alone in the car would change nothing.

I took one last deep breath before I lightly tapped on the gas, driving the remaining difference to the Cullen house. I unbuckled when I was in front of the house, and stepped out into the pouring rain. I had no umbrella, and was soaked seconds after I left my car. I slammed the door shut, and made my way up the steps to the door, which thankfully, had a roof above it. I knocked on the door three times, knowing they all already knew I was here. I also knew they could very easily come to the door in a millisecond, but that would seem to inhuman, and they didn't I was more than aware of their secret.

It was, however, odd when no one had answered the door thirty seconds later. I knocked three more times…no avail. And then, three more. I was beginning to think they were ignoring me, when the door creaked open.

Alice was on the other side, wearing pink silk pajamas that I had never seen before. Her hair was ruffled and tangled, like she had just got out of bed. I had never seen her like that before.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a disapproving tone.

I was still trying to figure out why she was dressed how she was when I answered. "Uh…you…umm…its…eh." I stumbled.

"It is almost midnight! I don't know who you are, but you need to leave." I wasn't used to being snapped at by Alice, but at least her apparel now made sense. She had to get dressed that way to make it seem as though I had woken her up, which is also why she took so long to answer the door. They were acting as though I did not know their secret.

I knew that Alice, and all of the Cullen's for that matter were very confused. What was some human girl doing, coming out to our house in the middle of the night, and why did she not seem to think the behavior was uncalled for. It made Alice seem a little less intimidating, knowing that she was more confused than I was.

"I am Bella Cu-" I had almost started saying Bella Cullen, my future name. I quickly improvised, "I am Bella Cu- can I start by apologizing for my late visit, it could not wait."

Alice seemed to accept that my slip up was a stumble for words, to my relief. "Now is really not a good time." Alice said sternly.

"I know, okay? I wanted to talk to about Edward." I replied. It wasn't the whole truth, but I knew it would at least get me inside. From her perspective, Edward had just left town because of my blood, and so me mentioning Edward would make her curious as to what I knew and she would likely let me in.

Alice's face darkened when I said his name. "And it couldn't wait until tomorrow?" She asked. I nodded.

"I wouldn't have come if it could." I said.

"Go home, Bella." Alice instructed, and closed the door on me without another word.

"Alice wait!" I called as the door shut. "Please! Alice!" It was no use. I knew Alice and her family were like discussing what had just happened and were trying to figure it out. I started banging on the door wanting someone to open up, and my screaming turned desperate. "Come out! Please!" And after another few minutes of banging, my desperation turned to tears. "Alice! Come on! Alice." I breathed in and out quickly, terrified at what an idiot I was being.

"Alice." I whispered one last time outside of the door, and then turned around and walked to my truck. I was soaked by the time I got there, but it didn't matter to me. I opened the door of my truck, and slammed it shut when I was inside. I wanted to be with Edward, but I knew that it was out of the question at the moment, as he was somewhere in Alaska, and I was stuck in Forks with my future family who had no idea who I was and refused to talk to me. How had I been so stupid, to believe that I could just show up to a house of vampires, and they would welcome me in gladly.

I tried to put the key into the slot on my truck, but my hand was shaking, and it wouldn't go in. I found myself screaming in frustration, and I opened the door and chucked my keys out. It took me a minute to realize that I had just tossed my transportion home, into the woods.

"Bella!" I screamed myself, tearing out my hair. "You idiot! You stupid freaking idiot!" I stopped yelling, and took several deep breaths trying to calm myself down. I looked out the window, towards where I had thrown my keys, but the windows were all fogged up. I realized how cold I was. My clothes were drenched with the rain, and I had no heating system without my keys, I crossed my arms trying to keep warm, my teeth chattering. I took one last deep breath before I opened my truck door to find my keys.

The rain was, if possible, beginning to pour harder, and the wind was picking up as well. My clothes clung to my skin. I looked as if someone had sprayed me down with a hose. I mentally cursed myself for having parked so close to the trees. Had I parked in the center, my keys would never have made it to the woods.

I looked around the trees, trying to find the keys that could get me home, but it was hopeless. I started with the edge and went in to a point that I was sure I could not have thrown them. I wished I had a flashlight, as it would have been extremely helpful while searching for keys in the middle of the night, in a forest.

It took me ten minutes of searching to realize it was a wasted effort, and it could take me ages to find my keys. I also knew that sitting in my unheated car all night while I wore soaked clothes put me at high risk for hypothermia.

I was still crying. I couldn't stop. Everything was going wrong. I walked back to my truck, and passed it too. I wasn't excited to do it, especially since I was crying, but I had no choice if I didn't want to freeze to death. I reluctantly forced myself back to the Cullen house and knocked on the door again.

"Why the hell are you still here." Alice demanded. She knew why I was still here. What sort of vampire doesn't have keen enough senses to not know the frenzy occurring right outside their house.

"Please let me in." I begged, still crying and shivering.

Alice took note of my state, and, like the caring person she was, let me in.

"Thank you." I sniffed tearfully.

"Come with me." Alice sounded irritated. I took off my shoes and followed Alice to their bathroom. "Take a shower." She instructed, and left me alone.

I quickly stripped off my sopping clothes and turned on the warm shower. I felt chills run up my back as the warmth replaced all the cold in my body. I didn't want to take to long in the shower, as it would be awkward when I left, so I reluctantly shut of the water seven minutes later. When I left, my clothes were on the counter, but dry. I had never understood how the Cullen's were able to do things like that. I had never heard a door open once, but somehow, they had come in, dried my clothes, and brought them back in under seven minutes. I shook my head dumbfounded, and got dressed.

All the Cullen's (except Edward of course), were sitting on their furniture in the living room when I entered.

"I am really sorry." I said. None of them seemed satisfied. They all had very serious expressions on their faces.

"Who are you?" Emmett demanded.

"Bella. I am Bella Swan." I sounded frantic…scared. The Cullen's had never looked so disapproving of me.

"Ya, we know that." Rosalie chimed in. "What are you doing here."

I took a deep breath. "I came to talk to Carlisle." I said, looking to Carlisle, who was staring at me puzzled.

"What is it Bella?" He sounded concerned, probably mistaking my urgency as a medical issue.

I hesitated.

"Bella, you came to tell him something, so say it already." Rosalie ordered.

"I am sure Bella was meaning to talk in private, yes?" Carlisle asked. I nodded.

"Come on then." He said, and took me up to his office. It was hard not to reminisce on all of the old things I cherished around the house, but I managed. The door in his office clicked when he closed it, and he offered me a seat in front of his desk as he sat behind it.

"So, what is it that you wished to talk about that you had to come here so late to say." Carlisle asked.

"Why is it that you let a total stranger shower in your house?" I asked.

"Would you rather have us let you die of hypothermia?"

"I could have driven my truck home."

"You lost your keys."

I raised my eyebrows as he said this. "And you know this how?"

"We figured that you would have gone home already unless your keys were gone."

"Where is Edward?" I asked.

"Bella, this is all beside the point. You had to tell me something?"

"It had to do with Edward. Why…what is wrong with him."

Carlisle stiffened. "Nothing."

"Then what is wrong with me?"

"Again, nothing?"

"Then why does Edward hate me so much."

"He doesn't hate you Bella."

"Then where is he?"

"He is…out."

"Out? How funny that he should go 'out' the day I come to town."

"It is complicated, but I can assure you, it is not by the fault of you that Edward has left."

"Will he come back?"

Carlisle was silent.

"Will he?"

"We don't know." He murmured

"He will." I informed him."He'll be gone six days, tops."

"You can't possibly know that."

"I can."

"How?"

"It is getting late, and I have school tomorrow. I hate to ask, but suppose we could continue this conversation on a car ride back to my place, as I seem to have misplaced my keys."

"Of course." Carlisle said.

I almost cried as I stepped into the familiar Volvo I had sat in with Edward so many times.

"Are you alright?" Carlisle asked, seeing my face.

"Yes." I lied, buckling my seatbelt. Carlisle did a good job of driving the speed limit, which I am sure was just a precaution for me being in the car.

"I am serious." I said, breaking the silence. "When Edward returns he cannot know I was here."

"You aren't telling me something, Bella. What is it?"

I sighed. We were already pulling up in front of my house. "Lets just say…that night you met me…it wasn't the first time. I have to go." I said, and left the car before he could reply. I rushed inside, trying not to get too wet, and made my way up to my room. I got into bed, and was so tired, I actually slept that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Getting up the next morning was a chore. I had absolutely no trouble waking up, as shear stress and embarrassment did that part fine. After the previous night with the Cullen's, I was sure I wouldn't ever have to worry about waking up again. The real problem was leaving the bed. In bed, I was warm, alone, and could attempt to relax. Out of my bed, I would have school, see the Cullen's, not see Edward, and still be the fascinating new girl everyone was in love with. But that's not why I couldn't get out of bed.

I had a headache. A massive headache. I was very prone to headaches, and I can assure you, I have had every kind of headache there is to have, painful, short, off to the side, sudden, gradual, barely noticeable, throbbing, and ones that went on and off for days on end. But, in all of my life, I had never had a headache that hurt as much as this one.

I clutched my head in pain, certain that if I let go my brain would explode. It pounded against my brain. I curled up into a ball, squeezing my eyes shut tight, yet somehow tears managed to escape. I breathed in deeply, hoping to pull myself together, but it seemed impossible. I did not know what time it was, or if Charlie was home. But those things were not on my mind. I could not think, as it took up too much focus. Instead, I stayed in bed for the longest time.

I knew a girl back in Pheonix who had migraines frequently, and occasionally they got so bad that she actually threw up. I had never considered that it would happen to me until that moment, on the bed. And I didn't know it was going to happen, until it already was. I coughed out what little food was in my stomach all across my bed, but was only mildly aware of the event. Each cough sent a jolt through my head, making the pain momentarily worse, until I was sitting in my half digested dinner.

I was breathing through clenched teeth. Every bone in my body was solid, and every move I made went noticed by my head. I could not tell when it would end, or how long I had been sitting there. I wanted to scream, and I wanted it to end. If I was still a freaking vampire I wouldn't have been having this problem. My nails dug into my head. My hair was being pulled out by clumps, but I didn't feel a thing. I was numb. All of me was numb, except for my throbbing head.

And then the pain was gone. All at once, the worst headache I had ever had, disappeared. In an instant I was better. Well, better in the sense that I could let go of my head without having to worry about my brain guts spewing throughout the room, and I could finally think clearly.

But I was still in the same, crappy past life, and I was still sitting in a puddle of stomachy grossness, and it was still only five in the morning.

I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that my headache was gone. I was in shock of how much pain it was. I shivered, but I felt like a million degrees, and sweat was trickling down my body. A fever.

I let a small wimper. That was all. No more crying for me, as it was getting old.

Shivering, I got out of bed stiffly. I gathered up all of my dirty sheets and left to go throw them in the laundry room. I struggled to open the door with one hand and not drop my sheets, but managed to make it to the laundry room before I released them into the washer. I put in the detergent quickly. It was colder in here than up in my room.

I started the washer, and rushed back up to my room, thankful that I knew the house well enough to navigate in the dark. I turned on the light in my room, and searched quickly for some clothes to wear. I had made the decision to go to school. I was sure that my headache was just a reaction to all of the things that had been going on in my life in the past few days, and the fever was just a side effect. No reason to stay home from school for that.

After picking out some jeans and a red shirt, I walked down the hall to the bathroom. Going to school in my messy, sweaty, gross state was not an option. It wasn't like I was running short on time anyways.

I quickly stripped down, desperate to be washed down in the warm water of the shower. I stood motionless in the shower for 10 minutes, lounging in the warmth that cleansed my skin. I then shaved my legs, and washed my hair. When I was finished with this, I grabbed my tooth brush, and began scrubbing my teeth, still in the shower. I turned off the water, and pushed myself into the cold air outside of the shower. The air was filled with moisture, and the mirror was completely fogged up. I dried myself up quickly, and then slipped on the clothes I had picked out in my room. I folded a towel on top of my head to dry my hair. It was barely even 5:45. I sighed, and walked back to my room.

I ran into Charlie on the way there.

"Bella!" He said in alarm. I fumbled around the wall for a lightswitch. I flipped one on, and saw an unshaven Charlie in front of me. He was wearing a tattered old t-shirt and some gray sweatpants.

"Hi." I said lamely.

Charlie scrunched his eyebrows in confusement. "You're up early." He examined. Quite the detective, he is.

"Ya. I couldn't sleep." I replied.

"Oh. Ok." He said, without further questioning. He walked past me, and into the bathroom. The nice thing about Charlie is he will usually leave situations like this alone.

I walked into my room, and opened up my math book. It wasn't hard. I had to do a couple problems to help myself relearn the concept, but it was easy after that. I closed the book, bored already, and pulled out my English book. I had read hamlet a dozen times, and that too, was soon boring. I went through each of my classes like this, and eventually gave up on entertaining myself. I went downstairs and poured myself some cereal. Charlie came downstairs a few minutes later, and did the same. He left about 10 minutes later.

It was still only 6:30. I was out of ways to entertain myself. So I sat absent mindedly in front of my empty bowl of cereal. Usually, if I was in this situation, I had Edward to talk to. However, in this current situation, Edward knew nothing about me, except that I have blood that would taste good to him.

I put the bowl in the sink, and went out to my truck. I was bored out of my mind. I was actually wanting school to start, just so I could be distracted from my mind. My mind sucked. It was filled with images of Edward and Renesmee. Renesmee, my darling daughter who I had practically died trying to conceive, and whom I had only seen once.

I turned the key, and my truck roared to life. I slammed the gas, and drove aimlessly around the streets. I returned home an hour later. I walked up to my room, brushed my hair, and put all of my school stuff together. It was too early to go to school. Not that I really cared. I was going insane. Every moment I spent alone was driving me more and more insane, with the feeling of loss, and want. I needed to do something.

I arrived at the school at 7:45, though school started at 8:30. Most of the teachers parking spaces were full already. I parked my truck in an empty space, and then made my way to Mr. Mason's classroom.

I was stopped by Emmett.

"Hey, Emmett." I said casually, then mentally slapped myself. Being casual about some dude who barely knew you was weird, especially when he's stops you the school parking lot, 45 minutes before school only reason Emmett knew me is because I made his brother move out of town, and I showed up at his house at midnight last night. Casual is not how I should be acting.

"Alright, new girl. You have exactly thirty seconds to tell me exactly what happened last night." He said angrily.

I was a little taken aback. I had heard Emmett use that voice before. It meant that he was very, very angry.

"You don't scare me." It wasn't a total lie.

"Answer the question." He demanded.

"No." I turned, and continued towards Mr. Mason's classroom.

He whipped in front of me, barely staying within human speed, and blocked my path. His face was hard, his eyebrows curved in and his teeth clenched.

I felt my eyes tear up.

He smirked. "So you're not scared?"

"No." My voice cracked, but it wasn't from fear. Emmett was my family. I couldn't stand to see him so mad at me. That, along with everything else, was pushing me over the edge. I did my best to suck in my regret.

"Move." I demanded, keeping my voice even.

He didn't budge. I tried to move around him, but he stopped me every time. He was wearing a coat and gloves, so I never felt his icy cold skin.

"What are you doing here so early." I asked, still angry that he wouldn't move.

"Why were you at my house last night?"

"Where is the rest of your family?" I asked, curious again.

"Answer my question, Bella!" Emmett scowled coldly.

"Would you mind your own business?"

"Sure. And, as it just so happens, a sixteen year old girl who shows up at my house at midnight is my business. So tell me, now!"

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell Emmett the truth. With him so mad at me, I knew a better time would come.

Luckily, at that moment, Alice showed up.

"Emmett, what are you doing!" She screamed, punching his arm angrily. Emmett seemed unfazed by the hits, but just one of those hits would have killed a human like me.

"Finding out what happened last night." Emmett said, not breaking eye contact with me.

"No! Do you respect Carlisle at all? He said, and I quote, do not speak with Bella! So what do you do? Sneak away to find Bella!" She screamed, still kicked and punching.

"I should go…Oh, and thanks for putting my truck back" I said, as I moved around Emmett and toward my English class. I had forgotten until that moment that I had not driven my truck home due to lost keys.

When I looked back, Emmett and Alice were not in the parking lot anywhere. They were already gone.

"Bella!" Mr. Mason said, shocked, and sitting at his desk. "You're here a little early."

I forced a smile onto my face. "Is that alright?" I asked, setting my stuff onto my desk. "I could help you with some work." I offered.

"Hmm…" He said, looking around his desk. "Oh, I've got it!" He said, and handed me a sheet of paper. "Go to the office and make 100 copies of this please."

I smiled. "Got it."

I trudged through the parking lot once more, leaning over to keep the paper dry. It was an assignment for the book To Kill a Mocking Bird, a book the Freshmen were reading.

The moment I opened the door to the office, a wave of warmth rushed over me.

"Good morning Mrs. Cope." I said. "I have this paper from Mr. Mason that he wants some copies of." I continued, before she could mention that I was at school fairly early.

She took the paper and set it in the scanner of the huge printer. She dialed in 100, and clicked print. The papers shot out quickly, one at a time.

Mrs. Cope turned to me as they were printing. "So what do you think of Forks?" She asked.

I didn't quite know how to answer. When I had actually just moved here, I hated it. The wet, all the trees getting in the way of everything, the undying sound of rain. But I had a different answer now. I loved it here. It was the place where Edward and I discovered our love…or will discover.

"I think it is the exact opposite of Pheonix." I replied.

"Is that good?"

"No…but it isn't bad either. It is just different."

She considered this for a moment. "What brings you to school so early?" She asked.

"I had nothing better to do." I replied honestly. The printer beeped, and I took the papers and walked back to Mr. Mason's room. I sat in the back of the classroom reading until people started showing up, around 8:15.

I talked to Eric about Hamlet before class, discussing relationships between certain characters and tried to focus on Mr. Mason after class started.

My next three classes went likewise. At lunch, the Cullen's purposely ignored my table. What have I done? I felt like crying in biology, knowing that Edward should have been in the seat beside me, and I fell a dozen times in gym.

I didn't go home that night. I didn't want to. I couldn't stand to go home and do nothing, like I had all morning. Instead, I drove out of Forks, the opposite direction of the Cullen house. I drove along for a few miles, and turned onto a side road. I continued along until it hit a dead end. I was surrounded by trees.

Without a second thought, I got out of my truck and entered the trees. I followed a route that was engraved into my brain. An invisible trail that I could never forget. I trudged through the woods. The undergrowth was thick, and the ground was muddy. I didn't care. I had to go to the meadow.

I was determined. That meadow was the place where Edward and I had so many memories. It was at that meadow that he first showed me what being a vampire really means. He showed me the immense strength and lightning speed it came with, along with the pain and hunger. He showed me his skin in the glistening sunlight. We had stayed at that meadow for hours on end, doing nothing but taking in eachothers essence. I could stare at Edward for days, and be happy. I had to go to this meadow. I was tired of being so disconnected from him. We weren't strangers! We were in love. He just didn't know it yet.

It took me an hour and a half of walking before I realized what an idiot I was being. _Hey Bella, you know what sounds like a great idea? Going off into the middle of the wood to go to some meadow you aren't supposed to know about, even though it will be dark when you get there, no one knows where you are, and you have no flashlight! Good thinking._

It was already getting dark by the time my voice of reason hit me. I groaned. All that walking for nothing, and then I turned around to go back home. I would do this meadow hunt on the weekend, when I had more time and I could tell Charlie that I was going out so he wouldn't have a panic attack. I remembered the day that Edward had left me. I ran around aimlessly in the woods, got lost, and Charlie practically had the whole city searching for me. It had been humiliating. To go through that again, on top of everything else, you might as well shoot me.

I slipped frequently through the mud, trying to go too fast. My toes were wet and cold. I had to go slower as it got darker, so I wouldn't run into the trees. Every now and then I thought I heard an animal, but I never saw anything. Other than that, all I could here was rain.

I tried to focus on where I was going, desperate not to get lost. I wasn't sure if I was lost or not. It was all I could do to just keep walking. Even that became hard. My stomach was empty, which aided my already terrible balance. I found myself swaying constantly, and splatting into the mud. I did not want to think about what a nightmare I probably looked like, and I definitely didn't want to think about the disapproving look the future Edward would be giving me right now.

It was pitch black. If my eyes hadn't had time to adjust, I wouldn't have been able to see a thing. I didn't know how long I had been walking for. It could have been thirty minutes, and it could have been 2 hours. I did not know if I had gone to far, or if I was going in the wrong direction.

And then I saw a light.

A light!

I changed directions, and followed the light. It was way off in the distance. I could tell it was a flashlight by the constant moving. It was flashing in all directions, back and forth.

They were looking for something…or someone. I cursed silently. It was too late. Charlie had already called people to look for me. I only hoped, that by some miracle, I was wrong.

On the other hand, it was nice to see a person.

"Hey!" I called, but I doubted they would hear me over the sound canceling rain. "Hey! OVER HERE!" I screamed. I picked up my pace towards the lights, only to trip and fall. I recovered quickly, and continued.

I heard the faintest yell. "Bella!" I heard. "Bella." I was right. Charlie had sent a search party.

"HERE!" I screamed. "HERE!"

The light shined in my direction. They heard me? "HERE!" I screamed again, waving my hands in the air as I walked. The light shined directly at me, and got closer and closer, until it was right in front of me.

I recognized the man as someone from the police station, though I didn't know his name.

"What are you doing out here." He asked seriously.

"I don't know." I said, shivering. "Can we go?"

"Follow me." He ordered, and then said something I couldn't hear into his walkie talkie. Probably along the lines of_ I found the crazy chick who went sledding in the mud at night._

"How did you find me?" I asked, teeth chattering.

"We found your truck, and sent out several search parties. You sure do know how to cause an uproar girl. Half the town is worried sick 'bout you."

Great, that is just what I wanted to hear.

I sighed. "How far?" I asked.

"We are pretty close from here." He informed me. "Just a few hundred meters from here."

"Thank god." I muttered. I couldn't feel my toes anymore, and mud literally coated my clothes and half of my face.

Finally, we emerged from the woods. There were three police cars in front of me, and my truck. Oh, and about 50 people, who all flooded around me.

"Bella!" Charlie called. He pushed through the crowd and stood in front of me, shaking his head. He took one look at me, looked down, and looked up again. "Are you insane?"

"Yes." Maybe I was.

"This isn't funny Bella. What were you doing out there?" I felt everyone staring. I noticed Mike and his parents, along with Jess and Angela. I noticed a lot of random faces from our school, and some people who I had never met before…at least not this me. Future me had though. Most of them were staring at me, and making little sidenotes with the person beside them, and some were on there phones, saying things like "They found her." I hated it. I had never liked attention.

I felt like my toes were going to fall off. "Can we talk about this later dad. I really just want to go home and take a shower. I am freezing."

"We can talk while we drive." He said, walking towards his cruiser.

"Dad, I have my truck." I said, pointing to the bulky hunk of metal.

"I'll have someone take it home for you." He said, holding out his hands for my keys. I handed them over, and he tossed them to the officer who had found me.

"Come on." He said already getting into his car.

"I'm really glad you're okay!" Someone to my right said.

"That sure was a heart stopper!" Said someone to my left.

I cursed silently, and slammed my door in the passenger seat of Charlie's cruiser.

"Why are there so many people there?" I asked Charlie as we started driving home.

"That was sort of the most exciting thing to happen to Forks in a while." I am not surprised. "Bella, what were you thinking."

"I was just going for a walk! I got lost, okay?"

"Of course you got lost. I could have told you that. You need to tell me before you go out. Understand?"

"Of course, dad." I said assuringly. "I know I should've told you, or left a note or something, but I didn't realize what an issue it would be. And you can trust me when I say I am never doing that again. All the people there were a good enough lesson."

"Good." Charlie said, satisfied. "With that attitude, you might even get your car back sooner than presumed."

I stared at Charlie, shocked. He kept his eyes on the road, not wanting to catch my reaction. "You're taking my truck away?" I was angry, but my voice merely sounded shocked.

"For the time being, yes." He answered.

"I just got it." I said, more to myself than to Charlie.

"And you've already used it to do something I wouldn't have approved of."

I sighed. "Alright. Fine. You're taking away my truck. How do expect me to get to school?"

"The bus. It stops at 8:02 two blocks down." He informed me.

The bus? I had zero friends who rode the bus. I knew the kids who rode that bus. I didn't want to know them. This sucked.

"Okay. Fair enough." I said. It isn't like fighting would change anything. It wouldn't be forever.

I glared out the window, so I could see my reflection. I was glaring at myself. Sometimes, I did things without thinking.

When I got home, the first thing I did was take a shower to get all the cruddy dirt off of me. I was in there for about an hour, but I finally got all the dirt out of my hair. I got out, and ate for what felt like forever.

I went up to my room, and couldn't help but think _you are an idiot Bella._ I had left my sheets in the washer, leaving me to sleep with a small, blue fleece blanket I had gotten for Christmas one year.

I transferred my sheets to the dryer so they would be ready in the morning, and finally got to sleep after what seemed like the longest day of my life.


	5. Chapter 5

_I sat on the chair in the Cullen house…my house. The light from outside rushed in, and caused my skin to glitter. Emmett, Jasper and Alice were out hunting, leaving the house with me, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Edward, and Renesmee. Renesmee was in my arms, her warm skin burning mine. Her eyes looked up at me innocently, and her arms waved around aimlessly, as if testing to see if they worked. She was so frail, and gentle. _

_Edward sat next to me, tickling Renesmee's nose. She giggled and returned the favor to Edward. I smiled to Edward. He was so beautiful. His face was smooth, and yet somehow masculine. His eyes soft, like butterscotch. _

_I leaned in and kissed his soft lips gently, then smiled back down at Renesmee. She smiled back up, revealing the edges of two front teeth, just beginning to grow in. She held up her hand, which she touched to my cheek. _

_Edward smiled, and picked up Renesmee to hold her himself._

_"Shall we take her out?" Edward asked melodiously. I nodded, knowing exactly where he wanted to take her._

_"Follow me." I said, and kissed Edward one last time before rushing out the door, and listened as he followed, holding my speed. _

_I rushed through the greenery skillfully, not crushing a single twig as I ran. I listened to Renesmee's crystal laugh from behind me, and smiled. _

_I was at the meadow within minutes. This was the first time we had brought Renesmee here. I turned to see her face light up at the perfectly round meadow, full of flowers, and long yellow grass. I held out my hand and stroked her nearly bald head._

_She giggled. And then, out of nowhere. "BEEP!" She screamed. _

_I turned to Edward, confused, but he did not appear to have heard it, and was staring thoughtfully down at our daughter. Did she really just yell beep? Was I going mad?_

_"BEEP." She repeated. "BEEP."_

The world around me began to change. Renesmee, Edward, and the beautiful meadow were replaced with me, in my room, on my bed.

I let out a sob. Sometimes, dreams suck. Sometimes, you wish they would just go away so you wouldn't have to wake up and get a wiff of reality.

What if I had died, right there, in my sleep, and left the world with that thought in my head. I could have died believing that I was living in my wonderland. It would have been nice, never needing to come back into that world again. I hadn't realized it, but my life was nothing without Edward. I may have thought it was at the time, but that was before I knew what love felt like.

I slipped out of bed, and choked up a few tears. I had to go to school today, and ride the bus.

I got dressed, ate my cereal, got my backpack, and walked the two blocks to the bus stop.

I saw Leanna Anderson, a girl who always wore the same gray sweatshirt, and had dreadlocks in her hair, sitting on the curb of the bus stop smoking…great. Next to her, was Christopher Lucca, who had blonde hair and practically always had headphones on when class wasn't in session, which included now.

"Hey." I said when I arrived at the curb. Neither one replied, but completely ignored me. Not like I cared. I didn't want to be friends with them anyways.

The sound of an engine marked that the bus was on its way. Leanne put out her cigarette on the sidewalk, then crushed it with her foot. I shook my head in disgust. I had never liked Leanne. She was really selfish and rude, and she smelled like she had never had a shower.

The bus stopped in front of us. I walked on when the door opened, and sat in one of the many empty seats. We stopped at two more stops after that, and then went straight to school.

Jessica and Angela were waiting outside the door.

"Someone said you were riding the bus." Jessica explained, "And we had some time to kill before school, and so we thought 'whatever' and decided to wait."

"Thanks." I said, though I knew there was more to it than that. It was Jessica. Of course there was more to it.

"So…what happened last night?" She asked. _Ding ding ding_. There we go. She wanted to be the first to get the inside scoop on my little nighttime stroll through the woods.

"I got lost." I replied simply.

"No duh!" Jessica said. "I mean, how did that happen? What, you just decided to go through the woods at night?"

"It wasn't dark when I went in." I replied defensively.

Jessica rolled her eyes. Angela was beside her, though she didn't say much, as she never did.

I said goodbye to my two friends as I made my way to first period. Then to second, then third and then fourth.

I didn't get anything to eat at lunch. I was still feeling terrible from my dream that morning.

"No food?" Mike asked suspiciously.

"Not hungry in the slightest." I replied.

"Ya. I bet today has been rough, after what happened last night." He said.

"No, it isn't that." Ugh…Bella! Why couldn't you have pretended that it _was_ that!

"Really?" Mike said, furring his brow. "Then what is it?"

"Nothing." I replied.

"Are you sure?" Mike had always been sort of over nurturing of me. I didn't like it.

I rolled my eyes playfully, then glanced back at the Cullen table. I knew Edward wasn't going to be there, but it still upset me that the whole family of vampires was there, except the one I was in love with.

"Whatcha staring at?" Jessica asked, following my gaze.

"Nothing." I replied turning back, though she had already discovered I was eyeing the Cullen's.

"Where do you think Edward went?" She asked, staring at the one empty seat at the table.

"Probably sick." I muttered.

Jessica stared at the table longer. "Doubt it." She finally said.

"Why?" I asked.

"The Cullen's don't get sick." She replied, fidgeting with the the top of her milk carton.

I snickered. "Don't be ridiculous. Everyone gets sick."

"Not them." Jessica said. "Look at them, Bella. They are perfect. They have perfect bodies, and they are all super athletic, do you think that a superhuman immune system didn't come with all that."

"If they don't get sick, then Edward would be here." I explained.

"I think something happened to him." Jessica guessed. Funny thing, she never told me that the first time this happened. I couldn't remember her so much s mentioning that Edward was gone. Strange.

"Like what?" I asked, trying not to seem overly interested in her answer.

"I was thinking some sort of an injury, but then again, what do I know." Jessica said.

"Maybe." I replied, then glanced back at the Cullen's one last time. Jasper was staring directly at me. I would've choked had I been eating food. His stare caught me completely off guard.

Then, he held up his hand, and motioned me towards them with his index finger. I let out a quick gasp, like, "does he seriously want me to go over there?"

I turned away, to see if anyone else had noticed this interaction. If they had, they were too absorbed in their conversations to let on, to my relief. I turned again to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Too bad they weren't. Jasper was still staring at me, and beckoning me over.

I took a deep breath, then made my way to the Cullen table across the cafeteria. No one at the table saw me leave. I put on a smile, as they turned to see me coming forward.

"So…you motioned me?" I said, standing around the table.

"We needed to talk." Jasper said in a strained voice. I knew he was in a lot of pain right now, being so close to blood.

I was hoping this conversation would never come. I had made a stupid decision to go to the Cullen house that night, and stupid decisions don't go unforgotten. The Cullen's would never believe my secret if I told them that night, or now. They are not ready to know. They would think of me as insane, and probably tell Edward to stay away from me. We would somehow end up together, of course. True love works that way, but it would put a weird spin on our history, and delay the relationship for sure.

"Okay." I said, sitting down in Edward's empty seat. "What do you want to talk about."

"Oh, please." Rosalie scoffed, "As if you don't know."

I glared at her. Rosalie and I had finally made our peace in the future, but now I was back to square one with her. "Okay. Allow me to elaborate. What do you want to talk about specifically."

"Well, for starters," Emmett began, "Obviously, you came to our house in the middle of the night. Why, though?"

"I wanted to find out why Edward had it out for me." I lied.

"Oh, and that was the thing that couldn't wait until morning?" Alice chimed in. I remembered how I had begged her to let me speak with Carlisle, drenched in the rain water. I felt as blush rushed to my cheeks in embarresment. Alice muttered something inaudible to Jasper, who smirked, but then nodded.

"Well, it could, but I was a little sick at the time, so my brain wasn't working right…exactly." I said. I had always been a terrible liar.

"Really? That is you're excuse?" Rosalie insulted. She was very rude sometimes, though I could see her reasoning at this peticular time.

I sighed. "Is that all?" I had no hope that it was.

"Not remotely." Emmett replied. "How did you know where our house was?"

Gosh, they were asking all the questions that I_ didn't _have the answers for.

There was a moment of silence as I tried to come up with an answer.

"It wouldn't be so hard to answer if you told the truth." Rosalie said.

"Well, I can't tell you though…but lets just say an anonymous friend told me."

"Who?" Alice asked.

Come on, Alice. "I said 'anonymous' for a reason. I can't tell you who."

"What do you know about Edward?" Jasper asked. I felt a chill go through me at the sound of his name. I missed him, a lot.

"Edward…I know he hates me." I replied.

"But why do you keep saying that?" He asked tensely.

"If you had been in that bio class with us, you'd know it was true. I suspect that's why he has gone missing. To avoid me." I concluded. Talking about Edward was killing me. I wanted to run away and go cry in a stall for the remainder of the day. I had perfected my poker face however, and hopefully I was able to make my sadness appear absent.

But then I remembered…Jasper. Jasper could feel emotions. Whatever you felt…he knew you felt it. It was one of those deer in the headlights moments. I turned to Jasper, and saw he did, indeed, look confused. Was it my answer. Was it my emotions?

Rosalie butted in. "Wow. Self flatter much? As if our brother has payed a smidgen of attention to you. He is on a trip visiting our cousins in Portugal. It isn't like you are the center of everything."

"Carlisle told me you didn't know where he was." I retorted.

"Ya, because it is none of your business." She backfired. "You have no business with our family, or anything to do with it."

"Then why am I at this table right now?" I asked.

"Because you are obviously trying to do or be something you're not. You, like everyone else at this school, thinks that we are some sort of club to get into. You are trying to become like us. That is why you came to our house, and we brought you here to set you straight."

"What?" I asked baffled. Is that really what they thought? I was trying to become part of their club? "Talk about flattering _your_self."

"Are you denying that you want to be friends with us."

I stared at the Cullen's around me, staring intently, waiting for my answer. They were my family, and so my more, and here Rosalie was, telling me they wanted nothing to do with me.

I was speechless. I felt as tears began to fill up my eyes, and I tried as hard as I could to hold them back. I couldn't It was no use to try and hold back flood gates that were overflowing.

"Nevermind." I muttered, and ran out of the cafeteria before anyone could see me crying.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- I have been buried in homework lately, and can hardly make time to do leisure activities such as fanfiction, so I haven't updated in a while. Thank you to all who have commented, followed and/or favorited. It is so much greater to write fanfiction when you have fans. Enjoy this chapter with a different point of view.**

* * *

"Wait…you did _what?"_Esme asked, astounded.

"We sort of, called Bella over to our table at lunch." Alice explained guiltily. It was exactly what Carlisle had asked them not to do.

Carlisle, however, did not appear angry. He never did. He seemed to always accept the situations as they were, and not get steamed over what is done. He did look disappointed though.

"We had to." Jasper said, trying to redeem them. "She is so confusing. We had to find out more about her."

"Surely, we could have come up with something a little better." Esme replied, still seeming shocked.

"Like what?" Rosalie chimed in. "I mean, how else were we supposed to get information out of her. Eavesdrop on her conversations? Because I am sure the top thing on her list of things to tell people is the story of the night she came barricading through the Cullen house at midnight!" She said with heavy sarcasm.

"She probably saw it coming. Most families would question someone who behaved as she did." Emmett added. It was true. Not questioning the behavior would have likely seemed more strange than anything.

"And what did you discover?" Carlisle asked, finally speaking up.

He stared intently among his family, all standing in a circle in the living room. They seemed hesitant to answer. Particularly Jasper.

"Well…" Alice answered, "Jasper motioned her over. She stares at us a lot, and so it wasn't hard to get her attention." She explained slowly. "And then, Emmett asked her a few questions, and she pretty much lied on all of them. Like, blatantly lying." Alice said.

"What did she lie about?" Carlisle asked curiously.

"Well, she said she came here to find out why Edward didn't like her, but she is a terrible liar, and we hardly needed Jasper's verification. She also said a friend told her where our house was, but that was a lie as well." Alice finished, waiting for Carlisle to respond.

"Hmm…" He said. "And what happened next?"

"Well…next, Rosalie sort of, lashed out." She said. "Umm, Rosalie?" Alice, asked, handing this part of the story over to her.

She was cross armed, ready to defend what she did to Bella, even though it was clearly not a thought out act for the benefit of them.

"I told Bella exactly what she needed to hear." Rosalie said.

"Which was what?" Esme asked suspiciously.

"I told her that she had no business in our family, and should stop trying to become like us."

There was silence as Esme and Carlisle took in what Rosalie had said. They could picture the poor human girl feeling intimidated and scared as Rosalie told her to stay away from them, and as she stared at her with those demonic eyes that only vampires had.

"And how did she react to that?" Carlisle asked sill calm. He never got angry at his children/

"She left." Rosalie answered. "She was upset, and she ran away crying."

Carlisle was silent. He looked very upset, and disappointed. He wasn't used to having his orders so blatantly disregarded.

"We're sorry." Alice cooed, trying to better the situation. "Really."

"It is fine." Carlisle replied, smiling gently. "I know you meant for the best. I am sure we would have had to confront her at some point anyway, and surely, it could have gone worse." He smiled, genuinely accepting the mistake that was made, as Carlisle always did.

"Carlisle…" Jasper said nervously, as Carlisle turned around to see what he had to say. "There's more…" Jasper said. The others stared at him confused. More? What more? Jasper had kept something to himself.

"Yes?" Carlisle urged.

Jasper hesitated. "Bella's reactions, they weren't exactly as they appeared on the outside." Jasper could feel the emotions of those around him, his special vampire gift.

"How so?"

"Well, like when I asked what she knew about Edward, she felt like the question was…comical. I don't know why, I can't track down causes for emotions, but there was definitely something that she found funny about that question. It was buried deep with in her, beneath all of the constant sorrow she feels every waking moment."

Carlisle furred his brow confused. "She has blood that calls to Edward, blood that is especially sweet to him. Also, she is the one person in the world whose mind Edward can't read. She find the question 'what do you know about Edward' comical. Not to mention her prediction 'Edward will be gone six days tops'."

There was another moment of silence as the family took in all of this information. How much did Bella know about there family? Why was she really in Forks? What was her connection to Edward. These questions on everyone's mind, though no one could ask.

"Out of curiosity, how did she answer the question." Esme asked, breaking the long (Well, long for vampires, in reality it was like, 3 and a half seconds).

"She said she knew that Edward hated her. She was lying about that too." Jasper answered. "Though I am not sure if she was lying about that being the only thing she knew about him, or if she was lying because she thought Edward didn't hate her."

"Or both." Alice added, "Or neither. Has it crossed no one's mind that maybe it is a coincidence that the person whom Edward has thirst for and mind he can't read is the one that bursts through our doors in the middle of the night. Maybe she thought the Edward question was comical, but that could be the result of the fact that she has made up tons of gossip or something."

Esme smiled hopefully. "It could be Alice. Who's to say we aren't all jumping to conclusions to fast?"

"Who's jumping to conclusions? Rosalie asked. "We are still trying to get all our thoughts on the drawing boards. Maybe you are right Alice, but maybe not. We still have to think this through though." She turned to Jasper. "You said her reactions were off, what others?"

Jasper almost chuckled. "Well this one might upset you." He said sarcastically to Rosalie, as if now he wouldn't say it.

She smirked. "What, you think Bella's ill tempered feeling toward me will upset me? Not even. If anything, her feeling inferior will do nothing but flatter me" She explained.

"Fair enough," Jasper said, "Only, she didn't feel inferior." Which is what he thought would upset Rosalie.

He was right.

She scoffed. "Ya right! She ran away crying. _Crying._ You want me to believe that was not the result of me pounding her?" She said, nearly yelling.

Carlisle was also confused. "That's interesting." He frowned. "It is the natural reaction of _any_ human in the presence of a vampire to feel intimidated. Especially when that vampire is yelling at you."

"Actuall-" But Jasper was cut off by Emmett.

"Guess you're just not the scary as you thought." Emmett joked, which earned him a slap in the face from Rosalie that would have dislocated a human jaw, but hardly jolted Emmett.

"Not in th-" But Rosalie chirped in front of Jasper this time.

"I refuse to believe it." She said, crossing her arms. "I am a vampire. Vampire means scary. If I didn't scare Bella, then she wouldn't have run away."

"If you would let me fin-"

"Oh, I am sure you scared her…with that monstrous face of yours." Emmett smiled wickedly, right before he was slapped again by Rosalie. "Ow." He screamed as the slap stung across his face with more force than before. "Jesus. I was just kidding." He murmured, rubbing his cheek.

"I have more to-" Rosalie interrupted him.

"Maybe you should think twice before 'joking'," She said, preparing to slap him again.

Her hand was stopped mid-slap by Jasper's hand, who glared at her harshly.

"As I was saying." He said letting go of her hand and turning back to the group. "She didn't run away in intimidation, but rather in sorrow…disappointment." He said, and let out a sigh at having finally finished the sentence without an interruption.\

"Ha! Told you I scared her."

"Upset her." Alice corrected. Rosalie was so full of herself sometimes. "And we need to seriously think about what this means. Not being scared of us? It is weird."

"Ya, weird, but also bound to happen at some point." Emmett offered. "Not everyone is going to be scared or intimidated by super good looking high schoolers. Maybe she just has super high self-esteem, and legitimately thinks that she is better than us."

"Ya." Alice said, "Which would explain why she didn't find it weird to come to our house at night."

"But not why she was sad when we didn't accept her." Jasper reminded them.

"Yes it does." Rosalie retorted. "I damaged her self-esteem. I mean, that has to hurt, right?"

Carlisle looked outside. It was dark, almost one in the morning. He had come home from work around ten, and the whole family had been silent until Alice had announced the event that transpired at lunch. He remembered what Bella had said, about her meeting him before. He had an amazing memory, though he could not remember seeing her face before. Not even vaguely familiar. He had held to the promise, of not telling his family, though he wondered if it would be beneficial to tell them.

"As possible as that solution could be, we still don't know. Wait two more days. She promises Edward will be back by then. If he is, then we know something strange is going on, and if not, then maybe it is just a self-esteem issue." Carlisle announced. "And if that is the case, then it is none of our business. For the time being, please do not draw attention on yourselves and keep away from Bella."

The family nodded, and moved on to other family discussions.


End file.
